Our Long Distance Relationship Love Story

We have been saying our I-love-yous for five years. Within that time period of having long distance relationship, it wasn’t always harmonious, dancing of tangos, and clinking glasses. Yet, Cjay and I remained steadfast of our love despite the distance and our undefined date to meet again. We find our love beautiful, and since my blog is all about all things beautiful, we decided to share this. This love that grew fonder every minute apart.

Special thanks to those who asked their questions.

How do you settle your fight and who woos first?

Y: I’ve learned from my previous relationships that lying about what you feel is a major no. Before, I used to think that I don’t want to bother my SO about my thoughts and feeling. That’s why I usually said I’m okay, even if I’m not. I realized that doing so neither solves the problem, nor let the relationship grow. In the case of me and Cjay, (I don’t think we’ve had a serious fight, actually) we always settle misunderstandings as soon as possible. We also stay respectful of each other. As an advice, don’t sleep on unsolved problems or misunderstandings. With regards to wooing, Cjay usually does it first. He’s more understanding and patient than I am.

C: This is one of the hardest questions in a long distance relationship. In this setup, settling fight is not that easy as you are not with each other to talk face to face. However, I learned that both of us need a lot of understanding to solve our problems.

What do you do when you miss each other?

Y: I don’t think we’ve kept count of the times we’ve wished we were with each other on both simple and grand events of our lives. We kept in touch most of the time through all available communication modes but it’s still different if we’re there to experience things with each other. I usually remind myself that he’s always with me through all my journeys. That helps make our distance from each other easier to bear with.

C: If I can’t go to her province, I keep in touch with her through video call or phone call.

How often do you see each other?

Y: We see each other once a month. Most of the time, it’s Cjay who visits me and it’s during weekends. I may seem like a difficult situation to be in. However, we both consider it a blessing more than anything. We always make sure that we have quality time together, and we are both clear with our own goals so it doesn’t seem like a problem to both of us.

C: We are lucky if we see each other twice a month but usually we see each other once a month. It’s very difficult to answer whenever she asks me when will we see each other again, but I always make sure to visit her once a month.

How do you fix your schedule?

Y: We don’t have a fixed monthly schedule when we’ll meet. Our schedule still depends on both of our availability. We both treat each other’s personal schedules, family gatherings, hangout with friends, and work as equal as our relationship.

C: I make sure that our most important dates throughout the year are for us. However, when the said dates fall in the middle of the week, we just move our celebration whenever we are free. Whenever I go and visit her, I make sure to free up my weekends. I’m very lucky that Yanna is very understanding.

What is the best mode of communication?

Y: I think the best mode would be video chat. Words may be misinterpreted during chats and texts. At least, during video calls, I’m able to see his non-verbal cues. Hence, it enables me to understand him better.

C: For me, any mode of communication will do the work as long as you update each other everytime.

How do you celebrate important events?

Y: Truth be told that in our nearly 5 years of being together, we were only able to celebrate a few important events together on its exact same day. We haven’t spent Christmas and New Year together. Also, I haven’t been to any of his birthdays since it falls on Christmas day. We often reschedule our celebrations whenever we are free. As much as we miss each other, we just remind each other that we have days to look forward to and our time will come, eventually.

C: If our schedule does not permit us to see each other during important events, we celebrate whenever we’re together. Last year, we went to Iloilo to celebrate our anniversary.

Was there ever a cheating moment?

Y: There was no cheating moment. I think what made our relationship strong is because we kept true and honest with each other even though we have a long distance relationship. We built our relationship on trust and respect. Understanding is very important for an LDR to work.

C: No, We are very faithful with each other and we make ourselves trustworthy. In order for an LDR to work, trust and honesty should be valued.

How do you strengthen the value of trust?

Y: I remained honest to Cjay. I let him know even the slightest feelings of hurt and anger. I think being in love is such a bold situation to be in. You have to be vulnerable to preserve the purity and intimacy, yet have to be strong for each other to keep going.

C: I think being faithful to each other strengthens the value of trust. Trust is one of the most important values in a long distance relationship. Trust must be preserved because this is what keeps us going forward.

What are your thoughts on settling down?

Y: Between Cjay and I, I think it’s me who usually asks about our future. I don’t think it’s shameful to ask about it, to be honest. I believe that we both have to be on the same page regarding future plans. We’ll come to that part of our relationship in God’s perfect time.

C: We are taking our time and not rushing everything in our relationship. We want to prioritize first our careers so that when the right time comes, we will be focused on that.

Have you been to each other’s hometown?

Y: I haven’t been to Cjay’s hometown, but I would love to visit his place. It excites me to see it, and understand his childhood and teenage years. We haven’t decided yet on this though.

C: Yanna hasn’t been to my hometown as the travel time going there is very long and tiring. Also, I haven’t asked permission from her mother yet about that but will do soon. I know Yanna wants to visit my hometown and I can’t wait for that to happen.

How do you ensure that you don’t grow apart?

Y: I don’t impose any restriction to Cjay’s actions, but I always tell him my thoughts on it. Balance is everything. I also support him in every decision he makes. I make sure that he won’t lose his identity through the course of our relationship, so I let him be himself. Moreover, I always let him speak his mind. I don’t want to be a control freak as it may harm our relationship.

C: We always make room for each other to grow. Also, we constantly update each other with our daily lives. I have a mindset that when one of us grows, it is beneficial not only to one but also to the other and to the relationship.

Well, that’s it! Thank you for reading this post! Cjay and I hope that you enjoyed and learned a thing or two about our relationship. If you did, feel free to share it! By the way, here are other blog posts you might like:

Feature Photo by Fabrizio Verrecchia on Unsplash

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