In my last post about how to draft the birth plan, we walked through the messy, overwhelming first steps of putting your delivery preferences onto paper. But if you are anything like me, sometimes you just need to see a real-life example to make all those abstract concepts finally click. That is why today, I am taking you completely inside my birth plan to share the exact document, specific boundaries, and personal decisions my husband and I finalized for our hospital stay. Every pregnancy journey is unique, but my hope is that may our choices empower you to find your own voice as you advocate for your dream delivery.
Part I: Labor, Vibe, and Protecting Our Peace
When designing the first section of our document, my main priority was protecting our peace. Hospital rooms can quickly get chaotic, so we set very firm boundaries regarding who is in the room and how medical updates are handled.
Here is the exact text we included for our labor atmosphere:
Support: Husband ONLY in the labor room.
Environment: Dim lighting and a quiet room (please minimize staff chatter).
Privacy: STRICTLY NO students inside the delivery room.
Communication: Please discuss medical updates with both me and my husband together, even between contractions.
Media: Camera will be handed to medical staff. Please take both photos when permitted.
The “Why” Behind It: Labor is an incredibly intimate, vulnerable experience. As I unfold my most vulnerable state yet, I want to be surrounded strictly by medical professionals who know exactly what they are doing, alongside the one person I trust the most—my husband. To truly be present in this life-changing moment, a calm, dim, and quiet environment is a total non-negotiable for me. Most importantly, I want to ensure that whatever happens or whatever medical decisions need to be made along the way, my husband and I are making them completely together as a team.
Part II: Navigating Pain & Delivery on Our Own Terms
The next block of our birth plan covers pain management and the actual moments of pushing. A peek inside my birth plan reveals a highly collaborative approach with our OB—we want to let nature do its thing, but we are absolutely not afraid to utilize modern medicine when the time is right.
Labor Pace: Prefer labor to progress at its own natural pace unless medically necessary to intervene.
Epidural: YES, open to an epidural upon advice of my OBGYN.
Episiotomy: Trust my OB to perform only if necessary.
Crucial: STRICTLY require anesthesia to fully numb the area before any cut and before stitching.
For the delivery room itself, we kept the instructions punchy so the attending staff can read them at a single glance:
Pushing: Directed pushing (coached by OB).
Positions: Open to standard, semi-upright, or side-lying as advised by OB to reduce tearing, and did not receive epidural pain relief.
Husband’s Role: To stay by my head/shoulders and to cut the umbilical cord, if baby is stable and without cord coil.
The “Why” Behind It: While I prefer to let nature run its course, I refuse to be rigid. I trust my OB with my life, and I am completely open to an epidural or interventions if she deems them necessary. Knowing my limits is important—I don’t need to endure intense pain just to play a hero. Instead, I’m choosing a wise balance between nature and science. Through it all, I want my husband anchoring me. Having him cut the umbilical cord is deeply symbolic for us—it marks the moment our baby steps out of depending solely on my body and is ready to enjoy life with both of us together.
Part III: The Golden Hour & Postpartum Boundaries
Once the baby arrives, our postpartum goals on immediate bonding and establishing a smooth breastfeeding routine start.
Skin-to-Skin: Immediate and uninterrupted skin-to-skin contact. (Backup: If I am unable, husband to do immediate skin-to-skin instead.)
Cord Clamping: Delayed cord clamping requested.
Feeding: EXCLUSIVE BREASTFEEDING. Strictly NO formula or pacifiers without clear medical necessity.
Note: My husband and I must be notified and consulted before the baby is given anything other than breastmilk.
Baby’s First Bath: Husband MUST be present or assist.
Rooming-In: Full 24/7 rooming-in with me once cleared by the pediatrician.
Maternal Recovery: Scheduled pain relief to stay ahead of the pain. Clear me for food/drink as soon as safely possible.
Hospital Visitors: STRICTLY NO VISITORS for the entire hospital stay.
The “Why” Behind It: We want to maximize bonding and protect our peace. We explicitly chose to honor the Unang Yakap protocol through immediate skin-to-skin, delayed cord clamping, and exclusive breastfeeding. To ensure we experience those precious “firsts” together, my husband will assist with the baby’s first bath, and we are opting for full 24/7 rooming-in. Because we want to navigate those raw, exhausting first 48 hours in our own little bubble, we are strictly locking the doors to hospital visitors! Finally, designating my husband as the backup for skin-to-skin ensures that even if I am being worked on post-delivery, our baby goes straight to his chest. This way, that sacred golden hour isn’t lost for our new little family.
Part IV: Planning for the “What-Ifs” (Emergency Scenarios)
As you look deeper inside our birth plan, you will notice an entire section dedicated exclusively to emergencies. To me, mapping out these scenarios isn’t about being rigid; it’s about staying empowered even when things don’t go as planned.
1. In Case of a C-Section
Husband Presence: Husband must stay with me in the OR.
Communication: OB to explain the medical reason before moving, and walk me through the anesthesia steps so I know what to expect.
Post-Op: Skin-to-skin contact as soon as possible.
2. If Baby Requires NICU Admission
Husband’s Role: Husband will accompany the baby to the NICU while I am in recovery.
Updates: Husband to take photos of the baby to show me immediately.
Feeding: Use my expressed colostrum/milk as the baby’s first and only food (unless formula is legally/medically life-saving).
3. Maternal Complications / Transfer of Care
Medical Proxy: If I am incapacitated (e.g., under general anesthesia), my husband is my primary medical proxy. Staff should explain everything to him so he can update our families.
Baby’s Location: If I am in intensive recovery, the baby must remain with my husband in our room (not the general nursery).
Backup OB: Requesting to meet the designated “backup” OB at a prenatal visit, and ensure they receive a copy of this plan in advance.
The “Why” Behind It: Knowing exactly where my baby and husband will be if things go sideways brings an immense amount of mental relief. If our baby needs to go to the NICU, my husband goes with them—period. If I am incapacitated, he is my voice.
Final Thoughts
Writing our birth plan wasn’t just an exercise in control; it was a collaborative step we took with our OBGYN, who actually encouraged us to put our expectations on paper. Doing this helped us align on what can truly be achieved once we are finally in the hospital, turning us and our medical team into a real team. As first-time parents, creating this outline became our way of honoring this beautiful, life-changing transition into parenthood. If you are ready to build your own, we hope you take inspiration from our birth plan and start bulleting out your own non-negotiables.
What is one boundary you are absolutely putting on your list? Let’s chat in the comments below!
